It hurts but I still want to hold on…

You spoiled me, you loved me, you cared for me more than anyone in my life. You took care of me when i needed you and was there for me even when I didnt. I made you happy somehow and we literally completed and supported each other on levels nobody will understand. You taught me how to open up, to share more. I trusted you, so somehow I’ve leaned and rely on you. I felt comfortable when I am with you.

At this point, you named so much wrong, I don’t know why exactly you left, but in the end it doesn’t matter, because you left when you said you never would. You said we’d probably lived , seeing each other grow old, we both did. I would never leave you, that’s why I said it, no matter how mad or stressed or broken I became because it is always resolved now. In this season, this time. We were always at our strongest and closest, even though we argue or had a big fight.

March 5th is our 8th year anniversary. You may call it friendship or you’ve probably forgotten how long we’ve met and i know you don’t care but I love you with everything I am and I will never ever stop loving you, no matter who you’re with, where you go, or what you do. I will never stop loving YOU, not the memories, not the thought of you but YOU. You’ve made me happier than I’ve ever imagined in my life would ever be.

They’re serious when they say one walks into your life and makes you realize why it never worked with anybody else. You will always be my one and only, my exception. The love of my soon to be short lived life and the only woman I will ever consider marrying and being with for the rest of my life. We’ve been through so many good and bad times, like everybody else, but unlike everybody we were strong. We were fighters, because what we had was real. What we had triumphed everything. The love we shared had no equal, it had no words of description and it was immeasurable. We had everything, the best of friends, together to be for life.

At least so was the plan. Happy Eight years of friendship! Have a wonderful day and I’m sorry I was never enough and wasted so much of your so precious time. And I am sorry that I can never be a normal person to love you like the man you’ve loved. I did not choose to be like this.

It was truly a blessing to be able to meet such person like you, much longer than I’ve deserved. No, I have never hated or blamed you. I just wished I could make things right, or perhaps try to be the man you’ve desired, and hope still one day I can make things right and make things as they should be, the way you liked and would accept it.

I wish you all the best, in everything you do, cause you know, I will always be there for you, whenever you need me. I miss you

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