Lonely Christmas…

You might say I don’t deserve to put those words as the title of this post, but no matter how much I tried spending time with friends, my best-est buddy, there is still a hollow in my heart, it’s never enough. I tried so hard, going out, joining every dinner, every meet up I was invited to, but I still feel very lonely, very alone…

Time passes really slowly, I just couldn’t explain how cold I feel right now…

The feeling, when you wanted to share it with that someone, that someone is not here for you to talk to, or perhaps, that person is facing their own issues, I felt bad, if I was the one talking, I was the one being selfish. I am glad, so many friends came to me, when they needed someone to talk to… I am happy to be your shoulder to cry on, but as time passes, I felt that, I myself, have been missing a shoulder to cry on. How I wish to call you and talk to you right now, but I bet you must be having a great time with your family and friends.

Watching you from far, of course, I am happy for all the joy you have, I am sad when you are sad, but in the end, I will never be happy no matter how much you cheered for me, cause you are not here, I have made the decision that we walk our separate paths…

Yes, it is, very painful… I should keep doing what I am doing, make myself as busy as I can be, so that I would not sit here, writing a selfish post again. I chose not to tell you this, cause I know I care~

……. I don’t know what else to write, but I don’t care anymore, who else might be reading this post.
I am a human too, I think I deserve my personal space, right?


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