Check up

First of all, I want to thank everyone for praying and and also concern, thanks for all the text messages, facebook wall posts (sorry I can barely reply with my small phone screen) and also all the calls that I received. I really appreciate all these. And really thank god that I am fine. Below are blog posts what I wrote back at home, I thought I could online with my pc at home but there isn’t a lan cable / port. =_=|| So I had to write it in Word.

During the past few days, here’s the report and what happened…

11th November 2010,

Headed off right after work as I don’t feel like delaying my trip back, the longer I stay, the longer it will take me to reach back home. Left around 7pm and headed to the Kerinchi Link… was pretty jammed although I pay for the toll. =_=|| but luckily it’s about 30 minutes jam until I get out of the toll. It was smooth after that, so I sped up, but half way driving, it rained heavily, seriously heavy until I couldn’t even see the road O_O

I slowed down to 80…

Surprisingly I reached home around towards 10pm. So yeah, I am home, settled down, took a warm bath and went downstairs with my pajamas on… I know dad surely wanted to talk about the check up tomorrow… so I sat there and waited patiently, and yup, my guess was right, so he asked me what’s the problem and everything, he said easier for him to talk to the doc tomorrow “haha”  like he can?

Here comes the sad part, I really don’t feel like doing it but I did this trip round… I cried. When he started talking about all the things, you know, work is really so killing you, and I don’t know what the hell you are doing there in KL, until the extend that you couldn’t come back. Are you really that poor? (FYI DAD, I didn’t want to come back because I don’t want to start quarrelling and hate going back even more, and I am not poor, I am paying mum “which you don’t know”, or never will) So yeah, I thought I could hold it by just sitting there quietly letting him talk as he wish, but I forgot what he said which made my eye flooded…

When it rolled down, he immediately stop. I don’t mean to do it, but I really have not been crying in front of my parents for many many years, there are a lot of things that I wish I could just voice up, but it will definitely break their heart, I will be the bad child huh? I tried taking care of my self not wanting to ask for money as I want you to trust me and let me grow up on my own. You pampering me too much is no good. I don’t want to keep relying on you both. I love you. So please… “I really hope you can understand English and read my blog”, but yeah, this is fate.

Signing off, I feel terrible now. Good night everyone…


12th November 2010,

Woke up around 8? Went for breakfast and went to the bank to get a new ATM replacement card, mine kinda broke XD Feeling better after last nights breakdown but I went out with a super puffed eye. Yeah, after I ended my writing, I continue in the bed…

After that we headed home and set off with dad, to the hospital. Oh, FYI, it’s Pantai Hospital, Ipoh. Not the KL branch… It’s my first time getting a real check up in the hospital as previously, mostly is just visiting people. My appointment was 12pm, dad’s friend Uncle Pang (working in Great Eastern came by to help read the policy to see whether they can use my medical card to claim).

So after telling doctor my problem, it’s not a normal headache “she said” And it’s not migraine either…so she’s worried that it might be another cause? Sorry I forgot to mention she’s a specialist, and her name is Dr Kathleen Yap. Very friendly but mostly English spoken, her Cantonese is really bad. Haha… I tried not to laugh when she and my dad tried to communicate (dad doesn’t know English) and doc was trying to hard to explain to him in Cantonese XDDDDD

She suspect it’s something like er… I forgot it’s AVS or AVR or AVY…? Which will cause death so she suggested me to get a MRA scan (not MRI) 😀 but sadly the schedule on that day was full so she arrange for an early appointment for tomorrow morning… Wonder hoe it feels, but when I found out about the price, I almost fainted. I am sorry dad that you have to help me pay for this as it can’t be claimed. The guy at the counter mentioned it will cost about RM840 just for the scan… so O_O

Dad swiped his Credit Card and bought some pills that doc suggested, to prevent any allergy on any injection the next day so I have to go through swallowing 16 pills at night. 10pm once and 4am once. 8 at a time =_=||

*Picture of today :: The paied bill, and also pills I will get down my thorat… :

Nothing much happened later then, so yeah, I’ll stop here for today. Will update more tomorrow… Good night!~


13th November 2010,

I barely slept last night, was up until 12am++ and when I finally fell asleep, I needed to go to the bathroom… then I woke up several times around 2, 3, and then 4 (by the alarm to take medicine) and went back to sleep. Mum’s alarm clock rang at 4.30? =_=|| why are you up so early mum… and I fell asleep again, woke up at 7am, bathe and drank a cup of Milo. Headed to the hospital as my scan was scheduled at 9am, need to be in the doctor’s place around 8.30 so that nurse could arrange me, get forms filled and head to the place.

Sorry, I felt really shy, and it was my first time. Nurse asked me to change into some outfit for the scan (you know when patients go through surgery, those type of baju? Green ones, where you tie it at the back) I was so ashamed when I tied it in the front, as I saw one guy before me doing that. Then when another lady changed, I realized I did the wrong one, so I quickly changed it :p I looked really silly. Haha… as I waited for my turn with mum accompanying me, I started to get more and more nervous. What if after the scan, results are bad? Started thinking about a lot of stuff….

When the guy called my name, I walked into the room “WOOHOO” Cool gadget like you see in movies 😀 I lied down and er… yeah I was sent into the space ship 😀

Scan took about 45 minutes, and when I was out, I couldn’t stand straight, I nearly fainted. Mum said I looked super FAIR… so before I get myself changed in the toilet, I quickly took a shot of myself. YUP! I am super fair & UGLY with that outfit.

Sorry I took with such bad angle cos I wanna take a pic of the ugly outfit as well… (fair & ugly)
Oh yeah, about my hair, mum hated the long part, said I looked weird, so whe took me to the hair saloon and chopped that part off T_T

And presenting !! MUM 😀

Will take about 1 hour, nurse said, for the results to come out. So me accompanied mum to the cafeteria for a break, I ate 1 sandwich while mum munch up some kuih and fried noodles + coffee. After that, met dad, he came later… took the results and headed to doctor’s office.

And the results were GOOD. No problem at all, so yeah, I should be happy, but I am not, not because I am disappointed, it’s that doctor couldn’t confirm what’s my problem. So for now I have to try out medication by her, to see what pills will stop my pain. So I have to visit her once in a while. Hopefully it’s not going to torture me going over pills as I have allergy… 

*final bil + with everything else, consultation etc :: RM900++

Guess everyone’s happy with the result, but I don’t know why God is doing this to me. I got a call from one of my aunt, that my grandma (mum’s side which I am more closer to) was admitted and she’s in critical condition. My heart fell. No, why another one in the same year. I’d rather you take my life than me losing hers. I was really down as mum drove me to the hospital to see grandma.

I was really pissed when guards don’t let us in. It was past visiting time, but doc told us to tell them that doc called us to go see her, they still refused as there are too many people upstairs? So we sneaked in from the back door (one of the guards were really nice, he helped sneak us in) When I saw grandma, she was breathing with the help of oxygen, face and body were all swollen. I don’t know what it’s called in English, but in Chinese direct translation is (lungs have water) sorry for my bad English.

I almost cried, she was suffering so badly, and so many of us trying to calm her down, as she couldn’t stand the pain, I helped applied some oil on her tummy area, hoping that she would feel better, I had to leave, as I couldn’t stay longer cos I need to go to the workshop to collect my car. I said goodbye and promised to see her again tomorrow before I leave back to KL. Did not say a word with mum until we reached the workshop. Collected my car and we drove separately back. I cried… again.

Why are you doing this to me, all in the same year. I really wished I don’t need to go through all this, in one go. Head is killing me, and I really wish there’s some way to stop it…

Signing off, sorry for the happy and depressing post. Will write again soon.

Good night!~


2 thoughts on “Check up

  1. i like the way you put your feelings in blogging. terms like; spaceship, fair, silly etc. feels like … you’re cute! in a way :)i’m glad that you are fine. and i’m sorry for your grandma. i know how it feels to see you love one lying on the bed, helpless. but, please be strong for her. Hugsss**

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