24:04:2010 ::

Cheer up!
sam… why these few months always so emo ?
Is everything ok ?
How are you today ?
Cry again ?
Be happy ok! We are here for you ^^

Really really grateful and happy to hear all this from all of you out there, but a wound will not heal so quickly, I need time to slowly heal. Please bear with me. I almost did it again the other night, I just don’t know what to do. For no reason I cried, and it was until the stage that I couldn’t breathe. I drove away, going around, wanted to look for my Aunt, but it was too late, wouldn’t want to disturb her, I just don’t know where to go. I ended up at Shio’s place. I think if it isn’t because of her, asking me to breathe slowly, I would have died. I would have wounded myself again. I know she’s very pissed with me. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I am thinking, and I didn’t do it.

Apologizing to all my dear sisters, I haven’t been a good sis lately, I am not strong to stand up. I should be the one encouraging every each of you to fight for your finals, I couldn’t do anything. Wani is so far in Nilai, I’ve not been going out with Aster and Angie lately, and I always trouble Shio. Instead of helping her, she has to see me cry. I’m sorry. I miss dada, miss the times we chat every night. Thanks to mama Charity, thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it very much.

Thanks to June, Kacee, who has been checking on me once in a while. I wanted to be happy for you when I heard your good news, but I was really down the other night. Am really sorry to make everyone worry. I told myself I want to be strong. I have to be strong. I have to stand back up where I fell, I have to be the happy, cheerful strong SAM that everyone used to know.

I have not been back for months, since CNY, I miss mom and dad, but I am just too packed by work. This month, they have the Ulu Selangor and Sibu bi-elections, my work is being doubled. I am very stressed. I am very tired. I want to take a break. I am sick of some people in the office. Who suck so badly. Who doesn’t understand what others feel. Who just put every blame on you when you didn’t do anything wrong. July, will be my 1 year anniversary working in DAP. I love the place, but not some people. I have to bear with it, it’s a challenge. I am there to gain experience. Some other agencies might be worse. I don’;t wish to leave the company. . .

I am very puzzled.
I don’t know what I am thinking now. My mood swing is getting worse.

I should stop. Need to get back to work~
I love you guys, please don’t hate me & forgive my rudeness.

I need some time to be alone again. . .  thanks for being here for me, and thanks for understanding. Let me be, for now. Good night ~


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