LOST

Don’t get hyped up, I’m not talking about the TV series shown in NTV7. LOL. Am just talking about myself.

“I’m LOST”

You know, one of these days, I keep on thinking, how I will die soon. LOL. Yeah, I know it’s not funny, probably June is crushing her fists now reading this entry. I have visions lately, more and more often actually, that how I will actually die in a car accident. And seriously speaking, I haven’t been actually driving myself back and to work with my mind. My soul just goes off whenever I am in the car, so I think I am damn lucky for still surviving here. And the coolest thing is whenever I realizes it, I am already at home. HOW COOL is that? And I don’t even know how I got home. LOL. Probably too used to doing the same thing everyday. So yeah~

I’ve been searching for something that I like to do, to at least cheer myself up.
let’s do a checklist:

Sing K doesn’t give me the eager anymore, don’t even have mood to sing ( I bet CC hates me for always sleeping whenever I go Karaoke with them, I’m sorry )

Taekwondo? No passion now.

Cosplay? Ugh… I haven’t been doing anything rather than recycling. Last time, I would just wake up early in the morning just to prepare for cosplay. I don’t think this is my thing too. Some people just say I spend more time in cosplay than with them, especially friends. I am sorry, but let me prove you wrong. I don’t feel happy doing this now.

Music? Yeah, probably the only thing now is music that calms and make me shed tears the most. That accompanies me when I try to sleep. Sleep hasn’t been good for me all these months. I might just get 1 day of good sleep in months.

Movies? HAH! I haven’t been to the cinema like… FOREVER? I always go like, everyday or at least 2 or 3 times a week with Bunny last time. It’s just not the same anymore.

Work? Yeah, work is the only thing that I do everyday, the fact that I needed $$$ to feed myself and parents. If I get to choose, I want to quit. And go home. Or just sit in the garden waiting for my hair to grow. . . How nice is that? Then I’ll grow even fatter. If I get to choose, I would just quit my job and move home. Nothing is meaningful now…

I want to thank friends who have been caring for me for so long, since the day I broke down. I am really sorry I just don’t have the mood to go out, or even to talk. Talking have been so hard . . . Don’t know who to please right now. 

So yeah, I guess people do really change. . . . And due to the lack of sleep, I get grumpy and most of the time I am in BAD MOOD.

To all my friends, who don’t know. I want to apologize if I raised my voice on you or I replied bluntly in whatever you told me. Please ignore me for now. I hate the “me” right now.

See you guys around…

searching for my soul…. somewhere out there

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One thought on “LOST

  1. walao so long i dint reply here haha… can i spam? lolbut seriously la i donno what to say everytime u emo in ur blog.. since it wont do effect on u anyway~but felt like writing sumthing here. at least if u read something, u felt better? loljust go on with life… it always set challenges on us. it matters how we going to finish it. Are you going to FINISH strong? with ur frens around u, i’m sure u can do it. dont let little things stops u from moving on. =D

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