Don’t get hyped up, I’m not talking about the TV series shown in NTV7. LOL. Am just talking about myself.
You know, one of these days, I keep on thinking, how I will die soon. LOL. Yeah, I know it’s not funny, probably June is crushing her fists now reading this entry. I have visions lately, more and more often actually, that how I will actually die in a car accident. And seriously speaking, I haven’t been actually driving myself back and to work with my mind. My soul just goes off whenever I am in the car, so I think I am damn lucky for still surviving here. And the coolest thing is whenever I realizes it, I am already at home. HOW COOL is that? And I don’t even know how I got home. LOL. Probably too used to doing the same thing everyday. So yeah~
I’ve been searching for something that I like to do, to at least cheer myself up.
let’s do a checklist:
Sing K doesn’t give me the eager anymore, don’t even have mood to sing ( I bet CC hates me for always sleeping whenever I go Karaoke with them, I’m sorry )
Taekwondo? No passion now.
Cosplay? Ugh… I haven’t been doing anything rather than recycling. Last time, I would just wake up early in the morning just to prepare for cosplay. I don’t think this is my thing too. Some people just say I spend more time in cosplay than with them, especially friends. I am sorry, but let me prove you wrong. I don’t feel happy doing this now.
Music? Yeah, probably the only thing now is music that calms and make me shed tears the most. That accompanies me when I try to sleep. Sleep hasn’t been good for me all these months. I might just get 1 day of good sleep in months.
Movies? HAH! I haven’t been to the cinema like… FOREVER? I always go like, everyday or at least 2 or 3 times a week with Bunny last time. It’s just not the same anymore.
Work? Yeah, work is the only thing that I do everyday, the fact that I needed $$$ to feed myself and parents. If I get to choose, I want to quit. And go home. Or just sit in the garden waiting for my hair to grow. . . How nice is that? Then I’ll grow even fatter. If I get to choose, I would just quit my job and move home. Nothing is meaningful now…
I want to thank friends who have been caring for me for so long, since the day I broke down. I am really sorry I just don’t have the mood to go out, or even to talk. Talking have been so hard . . . Don’t know who to please right now.
So yeah, I guess people do really change. . . . And due to the lack of sleep, I get grumpy and most of the time I am in BAD MOOD.
To all my friends, who don’t know. I want to apologize if I raised my voice on you or I replied bluntly in whatever you told me. Please ignore me for now. I hate the “me” right now.
See you guys around…
searching for my soul…. somewhere out there