met up with high school friends yesterday night at TOS. Really brings back memories. Seeing everyone, who changed so much, everyone’s doing good it seems. Only Kacee and Joey brought their partners along. The whole group of girls went of babbling off screaming, shouting and cheering happily. Still have not gotten free time to have a private chat with Neo. There are so many things to share. I think I am dying very soon. I should find some place to spread out the things in my heart. It’s getting heavier each day. It’s hard to just bug them while they are enjoying their holiday. Wouldn’t want to ruin anyone’s mood in such a time. Guess I’ll do it next time then. . . . There are friends who asked, hey, where’s your other half? *I stood there, don’t know what to say.
Some other friends gave signal, and the heart felt heavy again. Every time some one mentions her name, tears will flood up. It’s so hard to hold the feeling. And yet people say I am acting very cold towards her. I am very mean to her, for doing such thing hurting that poor soul, “You never think of others feelings huh? You know she suffered a lot because of you?, You’re such an Idiot. You should Die, You shouldn’t deserve to live. You ruined her whole life!, You know she can’t live without you, I beg you, go back to her side”
So what’s this? You want me to do this, you don’t want me to do this. I’m puzzled…
Moving on, Dad’s calmed down a little now that Brothers left back to work in KL, Penang, Sarawak. I’m once again alone with parents at home. Tomorrow is my Lunar Birthday. Dad asked whether I wanted a cake to celebrate?
ME:: Dad, how old am I?
D :: 24 (following the chinese calendar)
ME:: Exactly! Do I look like the kind that wants a cake so desperately? I’m sorry dad, I am not the daughter that you used to have back in 1994, who cries for a cake. I don’t believe in making wishes anymore. Those are lies. None will come true. I don’t want to hope for anything anymore. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy. Let’s just go out for lunch that’s all. I’m happy being with everyone at home….
D :: Well, if you want that, then it’s up to you. Don’t say DAD never celebrate with you.
ME:: =_=|| Since I’ve left for KL to study, I’ve never celebrated my birthday. Please la, grow up!
D :: *laughs :: YOU? GROW UP? *laughs again walking to the garden
So you can see, no one takes me seriously, and some people say I am being too serious at times. And showing very serious faces. Making people around scared to even talk to me. What should I do?
I’m praying to GOD everyday, but doesn’t seem to improve? Maybe this isn’t my year after all. . . Anyway, thanks everyone for dropping by. It’s holiday. Go out! Don’t waste time at home, surfing the net. Only idiots do that. D:
And yeah, few more days left, will be resuming work on Tuesday. Gambaremasu!
I never thought we would ever meet again, or maybe Ipoh is really a small place. Was really shocked when I saw her. I thought it was just my illusion. Tried hard not to think. I’d even removed anything related. (I’m sorry friends of hers. I am sure you girls/guys would be very angry about this, or you probably hate me for this?) I just don’t know how to move on. It’s very very painful. The day when I made this decision. Someone has to sacrifice. Even everyone in this world hates you. Even her dearest sister hates you, or probably, she’ll be laughing like mad. Thanking god for making her dreams come true. Just don’t know what to say. IDK, I think she look prettier 🙂 Am glad she’s going out with friends, at least not ground at home. Stay tough! And Move On….