It’s raining heavily, I can’t get back, so I decided to write a little. ‘ve been busy with workshops for 1 week going around with some colleagues for this whole week. And finally today is the end of it. YAY! Once again, I want to thank friends for being so concerned and care about me. I am fine now. I guess. I am quite surprised actually when my pageview suddenly raised up so high in just 1 week. Really thanks a lot everyone. I owe every and each of you a get well soon and stand back up courage. Everyone has been telling me, “sam, stay strong!, Come talk to me if you need someone to be your ear”

Sometimes, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to someone, because of the previous incidents that happened, somehow I am scared. I am afraid to speak now. I don’t have the strength to tell anyone anything now. I just want to be alone. In my own room. I hope everyone give me this time on my own, to go through. No worries, I won’t cut myself this time. I am very focused on what I am doing now. I am trying to let my wound heal. So yeah…

After the previous incident, I’ve asked myself not to think so much. Mind says “No, I’m not thinking” but I don’t know what is wrong with myself, I think I am going crazy soon. Every night when I lay down on bed, when I sleep, I sleep as usual, but whenever I wake up, I always wake up suddenly, and it’s always a restless sleep.

Tried talking to some friends, and some of them suggested I should get pills for Insomnia = sleeping pills, which will calm you down and makes you drowsy. I’ve been thinking, should I get it and give it a try. I’ve experience black out last week when I was out with shio and wani, it’s my 2nd time in my life after my first one back in 2003. I hope this is not some bad sign. And I hope this thing that has been torturing me would end soon. I think I probably should try taking 1 and see how it goes. I’ll keep blogging. Since this is the only place that I can write out what I feel.

Loving everyone around who have been supporting me.
Hope to see you guys soon.
L & M U SW

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