Yup, it’s November now and we are only around 1 month plus away from CF. Have not made any preparations, no mood in cosplay lately. Busy with work and dealing with stuffs around. And busy being the psychology doctor around frineds, but seriously, I think I am the one who needs one now.
WHAT IS TRUST? Wonder what you will feel if you fuond out one of your closest friend betray you ? Someone that you would share your feelings and everything going on with. Remember I always tell friends around never to trust anyone around you even your best friend. 70% is the max. Now I got backfired ? Oh well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. And most of the time, I can’t sleep. And I feel very heartbroken. If only I can share all this with mom. The pain in the heart is getting more and more deeper. I thought after I settle things with her, life would be better, as I thought the source of pain is from there. My life is ruined now. Maybe I should stop doing everything and concentrate on work + my relationship. Maybe I should stay away from fooling around, playing with friends, going for cosplay, and hanging out.
Will that help me to feel better ? Will I be happier ? Well, we shall see. I have no plans yet, but I plan to pay a visit to a psychology friend. I think I seriously need it. I am getting mad I think. Work is slowly settling down, lots of other stuffs to worry a bout.
I really wish I could just leave this world so that I don’t need to go through all this.
I really wish that things are not this bad.
I want to be a BAD person. So that people are scared of me. So that people don’t bully me but I’ve always told myself not to do that.
I want to be nice, I want people to respect me, I want people to like me. Why is it so hard?
I’m sorry I am crapping in my blog again. It’s a total breakdown for me.
I wish I can cry out loud.
I wish I don’t need to hurt myself to not think of this
I wish I can let everything down.
I wish my life less challenging.
I wish I could tell mom.
I wish I have a shoulder to cry on.
I wish the friend that I have trusted all this while would never do that to me.
I wish I was never born.
I wish I don’t need to fight a smile.
I wish I can forget everything.
I wish I don’t need to write all this here.
I HOPE THIS WILL END SOON . . .
Guess I will stop blogging for a while, until things get better.
Take care everyone, I wish everyone the best of luck and have a nice day always.