It’s been a while since I feel this way. I’ve been a happy girl enjoying my NEW YEAR since my Christmas Celebrations with her, was really a new start in the new year. I don’t know why, while I was scrolling around all my friend’s blog, I came across one of them, after reading her blog, I feelings just changed. I don’t know how to describe this feeling, but I just don’t feel like talking to anyone. I want to be alone, I want to think about what I have done so far, am I doing the right thin in my past 21 years, have I chose the right path? Have I done anything bad, have I made anyone hate me? Or am I naive enough to think that I am a good person, thinking that no one in this world would hate me, thinking that you be nice to everyone, you won’t have enemies?
I just don’t know how to say this out, I just feel like crying out loud but tears can’t seem to come out. Or maybe I’ve already cried too much, too much until it’s already dried. I start to think that I am too selfish, doing all the things until I never realize everyone around me is happy or not. I should be more careful in future, they might be saying the thing just to comfort me, but perhaps, they did not meant to be that way. Maybe they wanted to say the truth out but they fear that they will hurt my feelings. WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!
I don’t know, I’m signing off and go to BED. Maybe I will think something out.
To those friends out there, I am sorry if I did anything that hurt you, if you are not happy of what I am doing, please let me know. I don’t know if I am doing something wrong if no one tells me. If I am too selfish, please tell me. I don’t want you to keep it on your own. I don’t want myself to find it out on my own. I will feel even more bad later on. Maybe I should, I deserve it do I?
I don’t know what I’ve done in the past to make you hate me that much. once again, I am sorry.
I know no matter how many times I say sorry, you will never forgive me. Just want to express out, and I hope you will know that I am telling this to you and I mean it.
I hope you’ll have a nice day~
Oyasumi . . .